feel like i'm losing my best friend.
to my other best friend.
this is shit.
i want to be able to be close to my boyfriend and my friends.
guess that isn't happening anytime soon though.
greattt.

read through all my old posts.

i can't even contemplate how i felt back then.
i like to think my life is amazing now because of how shit the start of the year was.
and it's funny because everyone in my life now is better in every aspect,
yet i still thought it was the end of the world in like March.
LOL im just laughing at myself.
i was 13, what the fuck :')

s'all about blogger again yeah?

life = gr8.

LOL BLOGGER IS GAY.

and everyones a wanker.
yet i love everything.
because everyone being wankers is funny (-|
heoheoheo.

ouch.

I fucking miss you okay? so, so much.

Is that what you wanted?

Me to sit there and tell you how much this fucking hurts?,

and how pathetic i think i am because i can't get over this?

mission accomplished.

cause all i've done all weekend is cry and feel sick.

you were just always perfect ok?

you meant the fucking world to me.

you knew how much i needed you,

just to fucking keep me going,

and you go and fuck me up even more.

the stuff you said and the way you knew i was crying even in the dark so you hugged me,

just made me want to stop time even though i was pouring my eyes out, i wanted to stay there forever because i knew i was safe.

and i actually thought you cared.

i want you to want me,

because god knows i want you more than i've ever wanted anything.

im sorry.

dontevenbother.

Oh fuck. Fucketdy Fuck Fuck, Wank, Shit, Cunt

That was bad. So fucking bad. Oh god.

Someone tell me what the fuck is wrong with me?

And why I do this stuff when I know I'm being a twat?

But for fuck sake, it takes two to tango.

Oh god. I haven't cried in 6 weeks, or been sick in 4 years.

And I fucking broke that record last night.

All because of that.

Why. Why. Why.

I was stupid to ever consider doing that,

and doing it just makes me into the biggest idiot around.

I seriously need a slap.

And even after that,

I go and pour my fucking heart out to you.

And what makes it worse, is that all the stuff you said to me,

made me feel better.

And it shouldn't have.

Because it's most probably a load of bullshit.

But I believe it, cause its just easy to believe.

And just for the record, I didn't go to sleep as you told me to.

I layed awake until about 7, wondering what the hell to do next.

Cause I've been through some right shit with you,

but this is the worst.

Because this time I knew that it was going to happen. You knew what you were doing.

I should of walked away.

But me being me, didnt.

And now I'm stuck with that in my head and I can't even fucking remember anything apart from how good it made me feel about myself.

And then how everything just fucking hit me afterwards and how I've never felt like my chest was going to burst until that moment.

All I know is what I kept repeating last night.

I don't know what to do.

And all the stuff I told you about what I think about myself, is true.

You could sit there for more than the hour you did, trying to convince me that it's not true.

But it fucking is and everyone knows it.

I haven't said this in ages.

But.

FUCK MY LIFE.

I can't do this anymore.

dontreadthisplese.

Okay, blogger.

This is just a fucking long paragraph about the shambles that is my life.

I don't feel anything anymore. Any emotion i had left in me has been drained away by this false smile i'm constantly painting across my face. Every inch of love I had for people has been ripped out of my chest and either thrown on the floor or just taken for granted. I can't describe this feeling. This constant lump in my throat as if all the words have swollen up and refuse to come out. This constant ache in my body as if all my feelings are attacking my bones + muscles. I don't want to feel this useless. Worthless. Ugly. But I just can't help it. I want to feel wanted again. I want to fall in love again but only as long as they'll love me back. Because love has gotten me into this mess, and I wish I'd never fallen for you. Our friendship is something I wouldn't trade for the world, but our relationship is the memories I just need to come to life. I can't keep telling myself I'm fine and I'm completely okay with everything. Cause I'm not.

I dont even love you anymore. I just miss how it felt when I knew I meant the world to you. In a sense, I dont miss you. I miss the feeling. God I hope you never read this because I can't risk those late night chats, that one thing that I've managed to cling to. To just savour the tiniest thing from what used to be the best thing that's ever happened to me.

Oh and I kind of feel sorry for her, because, despite everything that she's said, done, or gotten her friends to do. I know how she feels. You tore her heart up aswell. She may not be my cup of tea, but she's still just another girl who probably feels just like me. I can't stop her saying stuff about me or you or get her friends to just leave this be, but I can just not hold a grudge. Love makes you do stupid stuff, she'll hopefully realise that someday.

I feel so distant from everyone. Like I say words but that's not how I feel. Its like I'm reading a script and watching someone else's life go by. And I know at any point I can intervene but I just haven't got the energy. I can't change everything. Because everyone's changed. Even my best friends, have become just different. I love them to pieces still. But its different, and not very nice. I could really use a wish right now.

I haven't cried since we broke up because nothing could ever make me that sad.

All my emotions are just bottling up and I think I'm gonna explode.

Someone just listen to me? I know I'll moan and probably pour my heart out, but just please, give me 5 minutes to tell you how much this fucking hurts. And how much I've lied to you all.

I'm sorry if anyone reads this.

I need someone to sweep me off my feet.

):

So I can find someone to rely on

And run to them, to them,

Full speed ahead.

Oh you are not, useless.

(LL)

I'm only one girl and I'm not a magician.
I can't mend broken hearts, and I can't turn back time.
I can't stop people hurting and I can't create miracles.
I'm no good at sympathy and I don't know what the world thinks of me.
But I'm pretty damn sure it's near enough what I think of myself.
I'm plain. I'm not pretty and I'm not special.
I can't make something happen that's not meant to be.
I can't make myself feel something I don't.
And I can't stop feeling something that I do.
Maybe that's why I feel so god damn useless.


Everyone and Everything makes no sense.
People are confusing and I can't figure anyone out.
How am I meant to when I can't figure myelf out?
I'm a wreck inside cause I don't know what I want anymore.
I just need someone to rely on.
Someone who can tell me it's all gonna be okay and that I'm fine the way I am.
Cause, atm, I don't feel fine.
I feel like I'm not living up too expectations and I'm dissapointing people.
I'm meant to be the strong friend that copes with just about everything.
But I'm not coping.
I'm not coping with anything.
Little things make me upset and angry.
Everything aches on my body because I'm forcing myself to get on with it.
I just don't want to be this person I'm not.


For so long I've built up this image of myself.
The kind that says,
"I'm-'Ard.-Nothing-Bothers-Me-Because-I-Couldn't-Care-Less-What-Anyone-Thinks-Of-Me."
That entire statement was a lie.
Fuck it. I care so much about what other people think.
I just don't want to do it anymore.


For weeks I've been saying "I'm the old me again".
I'm not.
I'm never going to be.
Because that person dissapeared when I made myself into something else.
And now I can't get my old-self back because I'm slowly turning into this image I've portrayed myself as.


I'm only one girl and I'm not a magician.
I can't mend broken hearts, and I can't turn back time.
But I wish more than anything that I could.

Thank You

&

Goodnight

(L)

with the world stuck in black and white.

I used to be love drunk,

But now I'm hungover.

I love you forever,

Forever is over.

(LL)

Woah.

Being nice really doesn't get you anywhere, does it?

Honestly love, who the fuck do you think you are?

Seriously, I should have punched you in the face weeks ago.

Not only are you the most backstabbing whore I've ever had the misfortune to meet,

you are the most repulsive, ugly bitch and you deserve everything you get.

I thought to myself at the start of all this, "I'll give her a chance. She's not a bad person."

But fuck was I wrong. You are the worst type of person to ever live.

People like you should be pushed in a fucking grave and spat on,

yeah that's disgusting, but so are the looks you gave me.

I don't fucking control everything he does, maybe if you were a nicer person,

we might invite you along sometimes. No chance anymore.

I really hope he breaks your fucking heart into pieces.

Cause I've got no doubt in my mind he will.

And I will personally laugh in your silly little face.

Rant over.

Anyway, today was quite cool apart from seeing that slag.

The field was beautiful in this weather, and the pictures we took were immense.

Apart from the end when I like nearly died from pain, but oh well.

It was a lovely day, and Chubby Bunny is the best game ever :')

I won £55 on the Grand National thanks to Daisie's lovely farja.

I'm just ecstatic (L)

Well,

that's about it.

I'm babysitting tonight,

so it's another late one.

But otherwise, my life's sweet (:

Happy Blogging (:

you took a left off last laugh lane.

Oh the boy's a slag,

The best you ever had
(LL)

Wow I haven't blogged in a million years (':
Hrm, maybe time for a caaatch up? ;]


Last night was physically the best night of my life.
I saw Mayday Parade, got right to front,
drunk the lead singer's water and touched a drumstick.
And if that was not enough,
I fucking met him. OhMyGOD(LL)
He was standing right at the bar in front of me,
and at first I did not believe my eyes.
I was shaking all over and couldn't speak, apart from,
"Jade. That's. Fucking. DEREEEEK!"
LOL. i make myself laugh (':
But yeah, he signed my shirt, he took a picture with me,
and had his arms round my shoulders.
My life is complete. I could be shot right now, and I would not care.
Last night was perfect. And it was with the perfect people.
Daisie, Lauren, Jade, Bridie + Connor obv ;) LOL.




I've had an amazing week.
I must admit my emotions have been just about fucking everywhere.
I can't tell if anything's real anymore, as in, I don't know who's fake and who's genuine.
I mean recently, I've completely stuck everything in the past,
the future's what I'm concentrating on.
But some bloody how, you and her, actually, her. She just pops up everywhere.
Sorry if that make's no sense.
But after this, the last thing I want, is her face plastered just about everywhere I go.
I've got no problem with her, but it's bothering me how in the space of a month,
she's the main gossip for just about EVERYONE.
People need to let this go. I have, why can't you'z?
Seriously everyone, stop trying to find drama in a bunch of lies.
Cause your trying to make me feel better, but I'm OKAY.
I'm completely fine! Please stop treating me like a kid.
I can deal with this! Actually, I HAVE dealt with this.
I've moved on!
For god sake, just get out of the past.


Otherwise,
the weather is fucking immeeenseee :)
It's absolutly lovely,
roll on summer.


Oh and one more thing.
You are actually a cunt.
I hope someone rips your fucking head off,
and throws it under a moving bus.
You're the reason no-one trusts anyone anymore.
Go fuck yourself.

Happy Blogging!
:)

Its a long way down

Just fall into place and you'll fall into me

Well make it out you'll see

(LL)

Hrm, I do a lot of thinking,

and I make a lot of mistakes.

You'd think I'd learn right? :')

Ah I'm just one of those people that never learns.

But I'm still young right?

I don't have to be perfect.

This is more of a catch up blog.

So, my mums joining a gym, so I'm going along with her, losing weight.

I need to get back on track tbh.

Cause when something bad happens,

I comfort eat.

And for the past 2 weeks I've just ate and ate.

Now it's time to get over myself.

So I'm swimming early every morning,

I'm snacking on fruit, and I'm gonna be slim.

Just you wait and see.

But yeah,

life's pretty shweet :)

I've been in a lovely mood all day,

and everyone pretty much seems the same :)

Happy Blogging!
Goodnight :)
(L)

this is not a lecture.

I have no lyrics.

I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
Love.
It's over-used right?
No-one really knows what it means anymore,
cause everyone uses it so frequently.
You fancy someone. Suddenly you love them?
No. It doesn't work like that.
You don't love someone just cause you wanna get in their pants.
You don't love someone just cause you like their personality.
You don't love someone just cause they have big tits or you think they're fit.
You love someone cause you adore everything about them.
Every part of they're personality and their looks,
every fault and imperfection.
Because to you, the imperfection's make them perfect.


In all honesty, I don't think many people are capable of love.
I think society has totally dumbed the word down and made it another everyday saying.
Every single person I know has told someone they loved them, when they didnt.
It's human nature. But only because we've made it human nature.
Fair enough if those three words don't mean anything to you,
and you can disgregard them just as easily as yesterdays newspaper.
But they can cause so much hope or hurt in someone.
You can go through life telling every girlfriend/boyfriend you have that you love them,
lead them on until they actually believe you could be capable of that amount of feeling,
and then just let them go without a second thought.
Love does not dissapear. So for anyone to say they 'fell out of love' just suggests to me,
you were never in love in the first place.
And here you are doing exactly the same thing to some poor other girl that's gonna fall completely head over heels for every single imperfection about you,
and your just going to let her down again. Your not capable of loving someone.
So I really hope, with everything I've got, that you fall in love with her,
every single last thing you could love about her,
and then she crushes you. Finds someone better. Skinnier. Better looking.
Then you'll know how it feels. And I hope it fucking well hurts more than anyone can imagine.

Peace Out,

Girl Scout

(L)

This blog says fuck a lot in it.

I don't normally do two posts in one day,
but I'd just like to say.




FUCK YOU.
FUCK YOUR FUCKING UGLY FACE AND LIFE AND FUCKING EVERYTHING.
CAUSE I FUCKING HATE YOU.
YOUR A MASSSIVE TWO FACED CUNT AND I HOPE YOU DIE.
that applied to A LOT of people.




You all fucking call yourselves my friends but your all major fucking dickheads.
I don't know why the fuck I'm friends with any of you.
With the exception of about three people.
You all need to fucking grow up!


We've been friends with you for almost 3 years,
and you've known them about 3 months,
and suddely, THEY'RE PUT FIRST.
I dont fucking care who knows who this is about.
I CANT STAND YOU LOT ANYMORE.
YOU'VE BECOME ARROGANT WANKERS
ANND I HOPE I NEVER FUCKING SEE YOU
EVER AGAIN.
GO FUCKING DIE
YOU SILLY PIKEYS.
IHATEYOU.


FUCKYOURLIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'm on my way to believing.

Maybe I know, somewhere deep in my soul
That love never lasts and we've got to find other ways
To make it alone or keep a straight face
And I've always lived like this keeping a comfortable, distance
And up until now I had sworn to myself that I'm content
With loneliness because none of it was ever worth the risk
(LL)
fml. thank you for summing up everything i feel in one verse paramore.


I'm tired off being the tough, 'ard person that gets through absolutly everything without a scratch on her.
Cause this is all i've been through this.
I've smiled, I've laughed, I've changed myself to convince myself I'm better than you.
But I can't keep doing this.
I can't keep telling people I'm absolutly fine, and then going home and just feeling like there's nothing left.
Cause that's what I do.
I go home, I go upstairs and stare at the ceiling for about 3 hours trying to figure out where the fuck I'm hoping to go.


Everyone else around me is so wrapped up in their own problems, no seems to see that everything I do,
is just a little bit over-the-top.
I'm just a little to happy.
I'm just a bit too giggly.
I'm just a little to 'okay' with the people that have caused this.
I know that it's not anyone's fault.
Why would you look for emotions that I've told you I don't feel?
Well maybe because I'm a liar. And half of you should know that by now.
I lie so much, and I wish I could stop. But, I quote Mean Girls here, its like word vomit,
I can't stop saying them, they just slip out so easily, no-one knows and I'm so good at it.
That's not being arrogant.
But lying just comes naturally, I convince people to believe something so easily.
Sometimes I wish people would figure me out.


I'm just a mess inside,
I'm so fucked up in my head,
I've just taken to not caring anymore.
I don't give a shit about anyone but myself and I've never been like this before.
Probably because now all this has blown over, I don't, I can't and I won't trust anyone,
Just cause it's not worth the risk anymore.



The funny thing is, I don't want to be with you.
A relationship is the LAST thing I want.
All I want right now, is too be able to look at you and just think,
"we're friends and i dont feel anything else."
but i guess that'll come with time?
pah. idk.



I'm having a bad day,
and I really do hope I don't feel like this tomorrow,
cause I don't wanna give you the satisfaction of knowing I take 3 steps foward and 4 steps back.
I'm sorry I can't even fucking be this close to you without getting false hope,
cause you've moved on. and 'we' are never going to happen again.


so here's too everything i dont want to feel.

Thank You

&

Goodnight

(LL)

when we're this young we have nothing to lose

All of these guards they stand so tall and defensice

Putting up walls around what was once innocent

It wont let me in but I'm stronger than that

Cause you stole my eyes and I'll never look back

(LL)

Can everyone stop being so secretive?!
I'm fed up of you all keeping stuff from me.
You think you're helping by lying to me about everything?
Your making it worse.
Your all liars. And I'm sick of it.
I'm sick of you all saying "We do it too protect you."
I don't need to be protected.
I'm not an emotional wreck, I'm not a baby, I can deal with it.
So can you all please, just this once,
tell me the truth, trust me, I'm not some little kid that cries at everything.
You should all know me better than that.


I get the fact that my world completely turned upside down in the last two weeks.
But everyone changing is making it worse.
When did everyone become so fucking heartless?
When did everyone became so fucking arrogant?
When did you all turn into the rest of the world?
We were always the nicer group of people.
Out of everyone, you could always rely on us for help.
We were nice to everyone, stuck up for anyone that needed it.
And now look at what we've all become.
We've become just like them.
Picking on people smaller and just different from us.
Do none of you remember when we were those people?
We hated it. So why are we turning into the people that made us feel worthless?
I miss you guys. I miss our group. None of us are the same.
Karma's gonna come back and bite us in the arse if we carry on like this.


I can't wait for this holiday,
let's get back to normal please.
Before any of this began.
Before you and me.
Before anyone gave a shit what we looked like.
Before any of us became moody arseholes.


Sorry if your offended.

Thank you,

&
Goodnight
(LL)

it's time to get over yourself.

It won’t hurt a little bit,

boy, better get used to it,

you can keep talking but baby,

I’m walking away

(LL)

I'm not sure what your game plan is.

Did you want a reaction and now your annoyed about not getting one?

Cause if it is, then I've got you sussed out.

I'm not giving you that satisfaction of kicking and screaming,

because it does not bother me.

So just stop thinking so hard. You might hurt yourself.

Its time to get over yourself (8)

Only two days left at school?!

Wehay, this term has gone so quickley,

well, in terms that it seems to have just flown by,

But so much has happened, I can't believe it's all fitted into 6 weeks :
I mean a month ago, if someone told me this is where I'd be,

I'd laugh. A lot.

But probably because I'd be scared. I would've known it was true,

cause looking back, I knew all along. You were like an open book.

I'm not scared anymore though. I'm the opposite.

I'm fearless.

I don't care what anyone thinks anymore.
I'll sing at the top of my voice knowing everyone's thinking "Shut up"
and I won't care. Because this is life. You only live it once.

There's no point on dwelling on the past :]

baby there aint no way back (8)

Here's too the future,

Here's too an amazing 2010.

And here's too my best friends,

because there are physically,

the most incredible people ever to exsist.

And I dont give a shit what you think :)

Thank You
&

Goodnight
(LL)

For A Pessimist, I'm Pretty Optimistic :)

Well 'iyaaaaarh! :)
I'm very content at this particular moment.
Laying awake last night,
after the biggest bitch session ever with Daisie + Alex,
I had a revelation.
No matter how much, I tried,
Gave you what you wanted,
Gave into everything,
We were never going to work.
This was not my fault.
And after telling myself that.
I felt something lift inside of me,
like literally it felt like some massive weight had been lifted off my heart.
Cause sometimes, what you want isn't what's best for you.
And even though fate has a funny way of telling you that,
everything happens for a reason.
And now I'm happy to just be, well, me?


I'm happy not being tied down,
I'm happy not worrying what your gonna think of me.
I'm happy wearing what I want and not thinking you'll critise me.
I'm happy because I know you've said so much crap about me behind my back,
and I have been the bigger person. I haven't once stooped down to your level,
and in that sense, I'm proud of myself :)


In the last two weeks, I've grown up a hell of a lot.
I'm not immature anymore,
I'm not letting people walk all over me.
And I've learnt that I don't need to be something I'm not,
for people to like me.
So if you don't like me, then heyho. Learn to deal with it.


I can't fucking wait for Campimg.
It's only a month away,
and I can't wait.
Yeah, maybe It'll be a bit awkward.
But in all honesty,
It's just gonna be fun. And laid back.
And I'm gonna make the most of it :)


I'm Optimistic (L)

Thank You

&

Goodnight

(L)

this contagious chemistry is killing me.

I love that attitude when you know I can do,

A lot better than you.

Ah you attention-seeking bitch.
I hate you, so, so, so much.
If you hate being abused,
why fucking come stand near me?!
Your fat. Your short. Your ugly.
Just piss off.
You absolute cunt.


Okay, I'm knackered.
This week has been so tiring,
and it's only wednesday.
Expressive Arts exam was ridiculous, I felt like I was gonna die.
I really do not want to do P.E. tomorrow because I just can't be fucking arsed,
I dont give a shit if it's GSCE.
When the hell am I going to need to know how to run properly?!


Hrm, and I really have promised that I'd never do this again.
But you make me smile.
Thanks.


Ah erm,
there's nothing more to put here.
I really am not gonna be depressing anymore,
cause all my other blogs are like suicide on a page (:
And I'm not a massive fan of depressing blogs tbh. Hypocrit i know :)
Oh well.

Thank you

&

Goodnight

(LL)

Heaven Can Wait up high in the sky,

It's you and I.

I've been happier over the past few days, really I have.
I mean, yesterday was weird,
and I got told some stuff I didn't want to hear, just because it hurt, a lot.
But in all honesty, all I want to do, is leave everything behind.
Me and you. It's over, and I honestly have accepted that.
You've moved on and tbh, as cliché as it sounds, i want you to be happy,
so I'm not gonna start an un-needed argument.


Today, I really did feel like everything was gonna be okay,
I mean, if I can sit in a room with you + her and still laugh and smile,
then I'm pretty sure I'm gonna be alright.
Me and you are gonna be fine aswell, because you can't be that close with someone for so long,
and then completely disregard them. Your still my friend, and as annoying as it is,
it doesn't matter what you say about me. I'll never hate you.


I feel really close to a couple people right now.
They've done absolutly everything for me this past week,
and none of them had too.
They really did prove so much to me and after all that,
I promise I'd do anything for them.


Oh yeah.
And I really can't believe your STILL trying it on
LMFAO.
"Oh Kira, I do love you xxx"
oh good lord.
For the final time. I may be single,
but I DONT want you.
Does that not say something?!
That during my relationship, I didnt want you,
and after its ended, I still don't.
Just, piss off mate.


So yeah,
I'm okay now,
it's been the oddest week of my life,
I've felt every emotion under the sun,
but I'd do it all again if I got the chance.

Well Peace Out Blogger (:

memories, oh they cut like knives.

I copied this idea off my best friend cause shes so creative LOL
Here's too 2009.


In early 2009 when Me, Daisy, Reggie and Emily ran up James Goodmans hill and Daisy made me piggyback her cause her hammy's were hurting. And then we got there and he's mum said "Havent you all got homes to go to?"
And we laughed all the way back down the hill.


When we were at Camping the first time and everyone told me + George to stop kissing so loud and I got really upset. But then it all seemed so funny afterwards.


When we went to Roding Field, and Dan rolled down that Stinging Nettle hill and hurt himself immensly but it was so funny.


When Daisie made me Eggs on toast and it waas the worst attempt at frying anything ever, but it still tasted good because we hadn't eaten in ages.


When Me+Dais+Alex came back from All American Rejects and the next day we stayed off school. Alex was sick and we took her too wait at a busstop. The police drove past and me + Dais have never moved so quick, shouting "QUICK THE OLD BILL's 'ERE" xD


When it was snowing in December, school was cancelled after an hour and we went back to Daisies and got ready, taking pictures. Later on we went sledging with George and he's family and I fell over and dislocated my shoulder. Then when we went back to mine and you hugged me and told me it'd be different this time around.


When we sat round Daisie's kitchen table and Lauren + Bridie put the whole container of salt on their chips and Daisie shouted "ITS LIKE A HEART-ATTACK ON A PLATE!"


The first time camping when me + George went outside and he explained all the stars to me, and told me wherever I was I'd always see the north star and so would he.


When me + Dais said we'd gatecrash Bridie's halloween party in Michael Jackson gloves and TuTu's xD


On the way back from All American Rejects and Daisie's dad asked me if I loved George, and when i said yes, he said "Worst thing you can say, girl. Don't ever let a guy know that." I should've taken that advice.


Everytime we went past 'Warren Street' and Daisie's dad took the piss out of her and she got all mad and bit my kneecaps.


When we went up to the forest, Warren + George brought Mento's and Coke and made a tower of over-flowing fizzy drinks. We went back to Daisie's and Warren made her kitchen stink. Daisie dad then started calling them Wazza + Gazza.


When we all ran into the forest thinking we were 'ard late at night and ended up running out screaming.


And finally when we all layed under the stars singing at camping the second time. That night I cried without anyone knowing because everything was so perfect.

There's so many more perfect moments last year, and it was amazing.

So here goes nothing 2010.

Gimme some good memories (L)

i'll get through without. You.

Since you been gone
I can do what I like
but it doesn't mean a lot to me

(LL)

I'm genuinilly feeling better.

Over the last week I've spent a lot of time with my family,

with people that haven't got sympathy for me,

because they don't know anything.

And honestly?

I like that.

I don't want sympathy.

A lot of people act like they care what's going on,

but they actually just want you to shut up crying.

And fair do's to 'em. But in all honesty, I'd like them to just say that.

Cause the people who really have helped me through this,

are the people that have made me laugh at myself, the situation, and you.

All I really needed was someone to just make me smile and give me a hug every now and again.

And who better to do that than my family who just take the piss out of everyone and anyone? (':

Yano I'm so happy I don't see you everyday.

This Saturday was awful because I didn't know what to do.

After 11 months, you forget how to act.

It's like when your in a relationship, your not your own person.

Your constantly worrying what this other person may think of you.

So now, I'm trying to find myself.

I did become a lot meaner when I was with you.

I thought it'd impress you.

It just me into an utter prick.

And that's not your fault, it's mine. I'm not blaming you.

So now. I've got no-one to impress. I'm me. Whoever that is.

And even though I'm gonna have to face you at least once a week,

and camping is going to be the most ridiculously awkward thing,

I'm gonna be okay.

Cause I'm always okay. I'm not weak enough to let this ruin my year.

Lets try a happy paragraph Kira?
okay.
My hair's purple.

And I never thought I'd like it,

but it's grown on me,

and I quite like it atm :')
My sister's 18th on Friday was pretty shweeet tbh,

and My brothers 16th today has been quite nice (':

I haven't cried all weekend. I'm thinking this is a good thing :]

I lost 6lbs which is amazing. Thankyou lord. LMFAO.
Erms. I got an A in my Science Mock. Which is incredible for me.

I actually enjoy school atm :]
It's spring (L) Nearly Summer. Let's see how that works out.

You seem miles away,

and 'We' seem like just a memory.

One I love to remember,

but one I don't miss as much.
End of an era aye? :)

Thank you.

&
Good Afternoon

;}

Now I'm told that this is life

And pain is just a simple compromise

So we can get what we want out of it.

I don't want to deal with you anymore.
I don't want to laugh when you make a joke,
even though your smile makes me smile.
I feel pathetic and sad that you've still got this kind of hold over me.
No-one has EVER made me feel this awful.
And the worst part?
This doesn't effect you.
You'll sit and watch me physically struggle not to cry,
and it doesn't bother you.
Your just a friend. But your still everything.
And I'd rather have nothing at all than have this feeling.


I dye my hair,
I lose weight,
I get new make-up,
I wear new clothes.
And I feel still worthless.
It doesn't make a difference.
It doesn't make anything inside hurt any less.
I don't think anyone will ever get how much this really hurts atm.
How much I really srtuggle not to shout and scream at everyone,
not because I'm angry at them,
because I'm angry at myself.
I'm so frustrated I'm this weak that I can't handle talking to you without remembering just about everything I love about you.


I miss you.
And I'm sorry I'm a useless wreck.

Thank you

&

Goodnight

:/

you are nothing to me.

Arrogant boy, love yourself so no-one has too.

Arrogant boy, cause a scene like your supposed too.

Your lucky if your memory remains.

Oh school.
Why are you the most shittest place on the planet?
I really. really. really. didn't want to go in this morning,
but I had so much Ex-Arts to finish.
even if I was on my deathbed I'd have to go in.


But I feel the tiniest bit better.
Cause you wanna know what I've realised?
You aren't worth any of this.
You aren't worth half the fucking things I feel for you.
You are selfish. You are arrogant.
And I reckon this would have hurt a lot more last summer,
cause you were a nicer person.
Now your just a sell out.
A part of the crowd.
You fit in.
Your not anything special anymore.
I loved you because I'd never met anyone like you.
And now I've met so many people exactly the same.
So in order to love you, I'd have to love all those wannabe's.
And I don't.
I think the whole thing is pretty damn pathetic.


I'm not here for a slagging off session.
I'm trying to prove something to myself.
That I know I've never needed? Wanted? Anyone as much as you.
But tbqh, I'll get over you. You don't control everything I do anymore.
So this is it. I'm cutting myself loose from you. I'm not your fucking puppet anymore.


Oh and I don't know what I'm doing.
I don't know what I'm hoping for.
I don't know why I can't get you the fuck out of my head.
This part isn't about who you think it is.
You just make me smile.
End.


Oh and yeah, you slag,
the world does NOT fucking revolve around you.
You are not the only one with 'problems'.
No offence love, do you see me dumping my problems on you? No.
Do you see me screaming how shit my life is? No.
Do you see me telling everyone that I can't take this anymore? No.
YOU. ARE. SO. EPICALLY. SELF. OBBSESSED.
You physically NEED to get your head out your arse.
Stop attention seeking. Stop fishing for compliments.
If you've got nothing nice to say. Don't say anything at all.

Thank you,

&

Goodnight

(L)

i'm not running from you.

What if I wanted to break?

Laugh it all off in your face.

What would you do?

So i've just managed to drag myself out of bed,
where I have been for the last nearly 24 hours.
Literally, wallowing in self-pity.


So yesterday.
I never thought it was possible to cry that much in one day.
And then I woke up at 4am, searching for something, and I mean REALLY searching. I stripped back all my bed, and dug out all my draws. Until I stopped and realised I had no idea what I was looking for.
So I cried. I physically felt like I was going mad.
I think subconciously, I thought I lost something. But then I realised I was never going to find it.
I lost so much yesterday.
It's a shame I couldn't find them under my cusions or duvet.


I didn't even attempt facing school today.
I woke up at 6:30. And cried everything I had left in me.
I told my mum I was ill.
She later found out the real reason.
My brother went mental about the whole situation, threatening to kill him.
I physically had never seen him like that.
He hates me. Yet I really did feel protected like?
That situation could have gone either way.
I chose to tell him to stay out of it.
I don't want him to hurt you. Not even after how much you hurt me.


So now I don't know how I feel.
I haven't eaten since 11'o'clock yesterday morning.
thats 30 hours?
I dont feel hungry.
I feel empty.
I don't feel angry.
I feel regretful.
Maybe if I'd done this or that, it'd be different?
But it wouldnt would it?
Cause you never loved me the way i loved you.
I got too attached.
And this is what happens when you want something too much.


But guess what?
You. Are Not. Going to break me.
Someone last night told me I was more than strong enough to get through this.
And I really believe them.
Do not think your going to ruin my life.
I didn't like who I was when I was with you.
And now I'm starting again.
It'll probably take a while for me to trust anyone,
as much as I trusted you,
But I'm gonna do it.
no matter how much it's gonna fucking hurt.


To be honest,
people have been amazing through all this.
Daisie Tuson; I really love you so much right now. You didn't have to do everything you did for me. You didn't have to help me wipe off my make-up. You didn't have to let me soak your blazer in tears. But you did. And I'm so lucky to have you tbh. Your the only person I need right now (L)
&
bridie cann, dan lockstone, lauren white, drew wyllie;
you four, even just through texts or hugs, made me feel millions better.
and when I feel better,
your all gonna get the biggest hugs in the world :)

Well.

I'm off.

Hello Single Life.

I'm already fed up of you.

And I've only been living it a day.

this hurts me more than i can stand to say, in just one sitting.

This hurts so much more than I thought it would.
This feels like I've had my heart ripped out my chest and stamped on.
I feel absolutly disgusting in myself. I feel ugly and fat and just awful.
I always knew this would happen.
But I never prepared myself.
I never thought it'd come to this.
This is not attention seeking.
I can't physically speak.
I feel so sick I'm actually retching.
I haven't eaten for dinner or lunch and I'm not hungry.
I've done so many sit ups & had such a long run just to try and put you to the back of my mind.
I'm trying to turn myself into something you might actually want.
Skinny? Pretty?
But after all that. Will it even matter?
I don't think it will.


I love you.
And I wish so much I'd never fallen for you.
Cause truth be told,
you could make me feel so fucking amazing about myself,
and in the same instant make me feel like I wasn't worth anything.
Right now I feel like the second one. Apart from 1000times worse.


What hurts the most?
I'm gonna miss our chats.
I'm gonna miss you calling me at 2am just to say i love you.
I'm gonna miss laying with you on a sunday watching Glee.
I'm gonna miss your family who were absolutly incredible,
and tbh I felt like I actually fitted in right with them.
I'm gonna miss the way you told me I was beautiful even when I disagreed.
I'm gonna miss how much you told me you loved me. Even though now I know it wasnt true.
I'm gonna miss how I loved every inch of you but never told you.
I'm gonna miss how everything you said made me smile.
I'm gonna miss how you said you wernt jealous, but I knew you were.
I'm gonna miss how when I said I was annoyed, I never was. I just wanted a hug.


I'm not angry at you.
I'm not mad at you.
I find it impossible.
I've tried so hard to hate you for what you did.
But I can't.
I love you too much to hate you.
And I guess your never going to realise that.

I hate 2010.

This is awful.

I'm sorry.

oh i'm trying to get to you, time isn't on my side.

It's Keeping me awake,

It's been like this now for days,

My heart is out at sea,

and my head all over the place.

(LL)

Literally, I have no idea what's going on in my head anymore.

Everything's so screwed up.

And I hate being on my own.

I continuosly find myself just laying in bed looking at the ceiling,

trying to figure out why I feel like nothing's going right.

I feel like I did last October.

Completely and utterly. Helpless.

I'm sick of my thoughts.

I'm sick of my stupid secrets.

I'm sick of everything.

I can't be bothered with all this new medication,

that I bet you any money,

will NOT help me in the slightest.

I don't want to have to get up and think "Oh i've got 4 pills to take"
and I don't want to go through the day wondering when I'll next have some unbearable stomach ache.

I just cant be bothered.

I don't want to be fucking careful with everything I do.

I just want to act like I'm 13.

I don't want to grow up this fast.

The Things I don't have the guts to say:

Please just stop.

Stop this act your putting on for the world.

Stop this stupid false pretence you build up around yourself.

Trying so fucking hard to be something your not.

I love who you are.

You make me laugh, you make me smile, you make me feel amazing.

Your pretty damn incredible as you are.

All your doing is pushing me away,

making me not feel good enough for what you call 'yourself'.

But your not yourself.

I don't know who you are.

Your not the person I thought I knew.

Or maybe I've just changed.

Maybe I'm not half the person I thought I was,

or Maybe I've just grown up.

Whatever way,

I don't like this. At all.

thankyou,

&

goodnight

(LL)

heaven can wait.

Here's a song for the nights I think too much,

Here's a song when I imagine us together,

Here's a song for when we talk too much,

And I forget my words

(LL)

Don't get me wrong on this blog,

I had an amazing weekend,

well Friday + Saturday,

but this Sunday, I have nothing to do,

and it's just a bit shit.

So I'll go see my dad,

and hope he cheers me up :)

I guess a LOT of things just feel wrong,

like nothing is wrong with them,

just I feel like I can't do anything right.

Like I'm the reason things arent turning out right.

Tbh, I'm not the nicest person ever atm.

I get annoyed over the absolute stupidist things.

I mean, I get annoyed over FB status? Pictures? Silly comments?

Everything.

Bleugh, I'd like a confidence boost pls?

Cause I don't feel good enough.

So I react in the whole jealous way and piss people off,

because I'm scared they can do better than me.

So in my attempt to be good enough,

I'm extreme dieting,

cause im too fat. end fucking of.

bleugh everything about me is awful :/

I give up.

Well,

thank you

&

goodnight

(L)

Well it must've been an hour, that I clutched you in my arms,

&

I must of said the right things because you instantly felt warm

(L)

^ ^ ^

I could really do with that right now.

I just need a cuddle.

I feel like I'm doing everything wrong,

and I can't do anything right.

I feel like I'm expecting too much,

and that's the reason I'm being dissapointed :/

I feel like I'm over stepping the mark,

I'm risking a lot,

Just to feel needed? Wanted.

Cause atm, I feel like even the people who are supposed to love me the most,

don't want me around anymore.

They're tired of me.

They want better things.

And it's not hard to get better than me in most respects.

I really just want half term.

I really want to lay with someone, watch the stars at night.

I want to go roding field and make pictures out of clouds.

I want to smile properly and not feel like I'm faking it.

I want to feel like me again,

because at the minute,

I don't know who the fuck I am,

or where I'm going.

I don't know how much you want this anymore.

I don't know how much you need me anymore.

I don't know how much more I can take.

I don't know why I need you to just be with me.

I don't know why I feel so lonely right now.

I don't know why everything reminds me of you.

I don't know why I miss you so much, all the time.

I just need to feel like I did when everything was perfect.

I need this.

I need you.

Now.

The things I don't have the guts to say:

'I would rather die than be with you,

you need to accept that.

You make me physically retch whenever you come near me.

You say we had something? You say we HAVE something?

Early 2009, we did.

You meant a everything to me,

You were/are the reason I'm so insecure.

You are the reason I never feel good enough, for anyone.

Your right. I thought I loved you then. I have no doubt I don't anymore.

We're over. That is over.

It was your fault.

You could of tried harder.

You didn't want me when I wanted you.

I moved on and found something worthwhile,

And your gonna have to deal with that.

I dont want you anymore.

Everything + anything between us, dissapeared about 11 months ago,

When I knew for once in my life, I did deserve so much better than you.

So don't come near me. Don't talk to me. Don't use your silly pitying voice on me,

because when I feel like shit, you are the LAST person I'd turn to.

So don't ask me 'How things are?' because they are a hell of fucking lot beter than they ever would have been with you.

So don't even think for one minute you will ever be a part of my life again,

I've grown up, I don't kiss your arse anymore and beg all you like I will definatly never chose him or anyone over you.'

End.

Thank you.

&

Goodnight.

every kiss that you could ever mean, never meant a thing to me.

Well I thought that we could sit around and talk for hours

About things I couldn't say to you,

And things that we could never do

(LL)

I want to scream.

I want to tell someone, what's bothering me,

even though I can't even bring myself to admit it.

I want to just sit and talk with someone that's not gonna tell me how pathetic i'm being,

how utterly ridiculous I am, and how much of a sorry excuse for a person I am.

I want things back the way the were,

cause atm I'm just drifting away.

I'm more withdrawn than ever.

And it's all cause I can't handle my own fucking emotions. I'm pathetic.

I love my friends too pieces, but I just can't talk to anyone anymore.

Its not their fault in the slightest.

I'm just not comfortable anymore.

I'm tired constantly, not physically, but just tired of everything.

The same old routine continuosly.

I get up, I go to school, I come home.

I go out at the weekends. I see my dad.

I eat. I sleep. I do homework.

That's it.

And I just let this happen because I'm too scared that something'll go wrong if I change it.

I can't even text anyone cause I went over,

and I don't get my new texts till Friday.

So I'm just stuck laying in bed thinking.

Thinking has become the worst thing for me.

I just evaluate things so much,

it seems so much worse than it is.

Your the reason I feel like this.

And it's all my fault.

You've done nothing to deserve my trust,

and you've proved that, time and time again.

So I won't tell because it won't matter to you.

So I'll hide this.

The only thing worse than not telling you,

is telling you.

Night Blogger :/

so many thousands of feet off the ground.

Maybe it's not my weekend,

But it's gonna be my year.

And I'm so sick of watching while the minutes pass,

As I go no-where.

My lovely Daisie is back in the country,

and I'm so happy about that,

cause i've missed her hugs,

and her chats.

And our silly inside jokes (':

Welcome back sweetie,

i love you (L)

So yeah,

I am feeling better than yesterday,

I guess I had my funny few hours,

But I'm recovering,

and I'm alright ;]

I'm also going on Britains got Talent,

to do Syncronized-Axe-Facing-Off with Daan :')

and we're gonna epically win blates.

Oh+Mr Lockstonee if your ready this,

thankyouforcheeringmeup(LL)

you still owe me texts.

but your pretty cool :)

So yeah,

this wasn't long,

and I'm going to bed.

But.

Thank you.

&

Goodnight.

you know my heart,

so tell me honestly did you ever really want this?

(L)

its a bit early for a blog?
I normally post them quite late,
but I can't be arsed to post one later on,
so I'll do it now.


Yano when you think everythings so perfect,
somethings bound to go wrong?
Well i was right, everything, somehow, just gets screwed up,
even by the littlest thing,
like my over-paranoid head.
I just makes up stupid stories in my mind, and replay them until i get the worst-case-scenario,
then everything just seems pointless. And I just feel like shit.


I know what would make everything so much betterr now,
but that's not going to happen,
cause I'm an overly romantic typical girl and its not realistic.
But what's wrong with wanting something that's not so predictable?
I want something spontaneous to cheer me up,
even just a nice text. I know that's so small.
But the small things really do cheer me up :/


your a hypocrit,
your nothing special,
and i don't believe a word you say too me.
your ego is nearly as big as the web of lies you've spun,
and there's nothing you can do to make me forget what you said.

thank you.

and goodnight.

you can lie awake in bed, or come and sleep with me instead?

So leave behind your troubled eyes

See brand new what I can do

Just say yes

If you really want me to

(LL)

Oh god I'm so happy (':

Idek why.

Phwoar, I feel incredible.

I love school atm.

I love my friends atm,

I love weekends atm.

I love everything (L)

I'm not angry at anyone,

I'm not upset,

Nothing's bothering me?!

Woah, this hasnt happened in a while (':

And i had some lovely day,

Dais, Drew, George, Lauren, Bridie,

phwoar, these people are amazing,

and they cheer me up immensly (':

And tomorrow with just my lovely Bridie + Daisie after school,

will be kickass, cause we're so cool,

(LL)

Ahaha well bye blogger,

I'm Kira Reynolds and My Life Is Perfect (L)

touch wood.

not a million fights could make me hate you.

I havent't actually got much to write this evening.
I'm feeling better than yesterday,
It was finally sunny today,
it cheered me up a lot :)


I keep saying this,
but this time I'm certain everyone's getting happier.
And nicer for that matter.
Everyone seems closer again?
Which is pretty lovely,
cause I did miss all that.


My hair is going a rank colour.
Its like borderline lighter brown,
and it looks ick.
I only dyed it last week and I'm already fed up.
I can't wait till I'm 14, permenant dye ftw.
Fuck Semi-Permenant x]


I'm actually knackered,
and I've got my options evening tomorrow,
and I've got P.E., Art + French.
Three worst lessons, all in one day.
Unexplainably depressing.


Mmnn well yeah,
I've established that no-one in South-End wears trousers,
they all take pictures in their underwear.
BUY SOME CLOTHES!
no offence to anyone from South End :]


'not a million fights could make me hate you, your invicible...'
- Why; Secondhand Serenade.

Well I'm quite done here.

Byeee Blog :)

would someone care to classify our broken hearts and twisted minds?

I don't know what I'm supposed too feel anymore.
I guess I know how people would expect me to feel.
Everything's going great, so I should feel,
Happy? Excited? Fufilled?
But I don't.
I feel, lost, jealous, confused, uncomfortable, tired.
People are just gonna start hating me soon cause I can't control my emotions.
I'm a bit of a wreck,
and I know that's so cliché, but when I'm at school or at home,
I just feel useless. Like I've got nothing going for me, so what's the point in geting up the next morning?


I know your all probably like "get over yourself Kira. Your life's great"
Don't get me wrong, I know it is and I wouldn't change it.
But would someone care to classify why the fuck I feel so crappy recently?


Moving on,
time's going quick,
20 days till spring,
2 months till camping,
I just want time to go really quick,
and before I know it, it's May,
and everythings happy again.

Well I'm going to bed.

Sorry for this shit.

Goodbye's are meant for lonely people standing in the rain,

And no matter where I go it's always pouring all the same

(L)

Oh god how I wish I was naturally pretty.
LMFAO.
I just look like such a mess atm.
I got out the bath and was a bit like "ohmygod."
I look like I've got a fucking rash on my face where it's so blotchy.
My eyes are like so small its unbelievable and I've got the most awful nose ever.
As you can tell, not the greatest mood ever.
Ergh I just despise myself atm.
Like personality aswell. I'm just a bit of a dick tbh.
I really am.
My own self-conciousness causes me to just constantly abuse other people,
cause it's better than abusing myself.
Fml.
I'm sorry to people. I am a complete dickhead. And I should be shot. In the Face. Repeatedly.


Oh god and slim.
I would kill to have skinny legs.
And no stomach.
And a smaller arse.
I make myself out to be obese LMFAO.
No, I know I'm not absolutly hench.
But I really really really wish I was naturally skinny.
Diets just make me overly depressed.
Excerise actually kills my legs + arms + back + stomach.
This is how fucking unfit I am.
My food for today has been:
Cereal, Two Apples and A Chocolate Biscuit.
I'M SO HUNGRY ):
This better be worth it.


Well yeah,
Shit mood.
Shit day.
Shit week.
Shit weather.
Shit diet.
Shit insomnia.
Shit parents.
Shit options.
Shit school.
Shit pessimism.


Bye.

I am someone else when I'm with you, someone more like myself.

I Don't Expect Anyone To Read These,

But They Are Physically the Most Incredible Quotes.

Ever.

Unhappiness doesn't come from not having something you want, but from the lack of something inside that you need.


There are things to hold and things to let go, and letting go doesn't mean you lose, but that you acquire that which has been waiting around the corner.


Do not take anything as being forever, because forever is only as long as today.


Love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without. If you don't start with that, what are you going to end up with? Fall head over heels. I say find someone you can love like crazy and who'll love you the same way back. And how do you find him? Forget your head and listen to your heart. I'm not hearing any heart. Run the risk, if you get hurt, you'll come back. Because, the truth is there is no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love - well, you haven't lived a life at all. You have to try. Because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived.


Summer romances begin for all kinds of reasons, but when all is said and done, they have one thing in common. They're shooting stars, a spectacular moment of light in the heavens, fleeting glimpse of eternity, and in a flash they're gone.


I love that you get cold when it is 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle in your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.


Is this the end of the moment? Or just a beautiful unfolding, of a love that will never be? Or maybe, this is everything that I never thought could happen, or ever come to pass. And I wonder if maybe, I could be all you ever dreamed of.


When I was younger I saw my daddy cry and curse at the wind he broke his own heart and I watched as he tried to reassemble it. And my momma swore that she would never let herself forget and that was the day that I promised I'd never sing of love if it does not exist. But darling, you are the only exception. I know, somewhere deep in my soul that love never lasts. And we've got to find other ways to make it alone, keep a straight face. And I've always lived like this. Keeping a comfortable, distance and up until now had sworn to myself that I'm content with loneliness because none of it was ever worth the risk. Well, you are the only exception. I've got a tight grip on reality but I can't let go of what's in front of me here. I know you're leaving in the morning, when you wake up. Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream. You are the only exception. You are the only exception. And I'm on my way to believing.




No-one probably read this. Don't blame you.
I just thought I'd pour my heart out a bit more.
Much Love.

take me away.

You are the reason I am the best I'll be

So let me stitch your heart so it won't bleed

And I won't rest until you finally breathe

'Cause I still love you more than anything

(LL)

I want to do something really spontaneous.

I want to go out of the country actually LOL.

I've never been really interested in travelling,

Geography always bored me,

Other countries didn't seem that different to here.

But they are.

And I was kidding myself.

I get so jealous when other people go to all these amazing places,

Florida, Thailand, New York, Spain, Mexico, Cuba, Italy, Ibiza.

I want to go somewhere.

It sucks not having enough money :/

Sorry about complaining,

I'm in a jealous mood,

I want what everyone else has atm.

I'm in a bit of self-pity.

I just want some money, to do things that everyone else does,

I dont want to feel like a charity everytime someone buys me something,

cause I kick up a fuss and look like a dick.

I want decent clothes, decent shoes, decent hair,

decent make-up, decent everything.

Not so i'm spoilt.

Just so I dont look like a fucking pikey,

and never have any money for anything.

I've been listening to so much music recently aswell,

I'm in a bit of a dream world,

I'm just drifting through life, not doing or saying much,

I'll stare into space for ages,

I'll only eat when someone makes me something

cause I cant be arsed to make it myself.

I'll lay in bed until about 3am just thinking about 'what if's'

and then wake up and start again.

I feel a bit empty.

Like somethings missing.

I can't wait for camping, honestly,

It's the one thing I'm looking foward to now,

I just want to feel independent again,

I want to feel free?

I want to be able to not care what I look like,

I want to be able to laugh and cry with my best friends,

and not to worry about people staring at us.

I want to fall asleep in someones arms and just feel happy when I wake up.

I want to see Daisies face when she wakes up on her birthday,

and finds everyone crowding round her.

I want 1st May now pls.

Well thanks Blogger,

I'll see you later :)

I'd rather be anywhere but here without you.

'Cause you are beautiful inside

So lovely and I

Can't see why I'd do anything without you,

And when Im not with you

I know that its true

That I'd rather be anywhere but here without you (L)'

I literally just fell in love with SafetySuit,

they write the most incredible lyrics.

I cried at how lovely they are,

that's how pathetic I am xD

But, Anywhere But Here,

Something I Said,

and Find A Way,

are the best songs I've heard in a while.

Take a listen will ya?!

:)

I've been in a pretty shit mood all day,

I'm drifting away from a few people I never wanted to.

But I am getting closer with a few people I never thought I'd be this close with.

But yeah, I feel extremly ill, tired,

and really deathly tbqh.

My eyes itch, my skin feels like its on fire,

and I keep getting cold sweats.

Attractive Kira, reaaaal attractive.

I'm gonna try and sleep loads tonight,

cause I haven't slept in a number of days,

due to my dog barking at everything,

and just waking up from nightmares :

Like not even 'scary' nightmares,

more worrying stuff.

Dont worry.

I'm just a bit drowsy and abusive atm LOL.

Everything's making me upset,

Everything's annoying me,

The littlest things are making me angry.

And I just want a hug LOL.

Sorry I'm in a bad mood.

Bipolar I tell ye.

Well I'm gonna be off,

I'll blog as soon as I can.

PEACE OWT GIRL SCOWT :)

Nobodies Perfect,

But I'm Perfectly Happy :)
(L)

Well hello.
I'm in an awfully good mood and I thought I'd blog it ;]


I adore my life atm,
Everything's pretty good.
I've just spent the day with my favouritest person in the world,
just lazying around doing nothing,
and I felt completely comfortable being my complete self,
and I havent felt like that in a while tbh.
Georgee; i love you (: (L)



My friends are epic, and have just been making me laugh all evening,
I'm going to China Town on Sunday which I'm quite excited about,
I'm probably going to see all my friends on Saturday which should be lovely,
and tomorrow I'm just gonna hang out with Drew and have a little bitchfest as you do.
So yeah, everythings perfect.


Tbh, I'm not even that bothered about going back to school,
it's getting lighter in the mornings now which is immense,
cause I fucking hated getting up in the dark (':
Next week I should have the money to buy some hair dye and get a red tint back on my mop.


The one thing I need to do though,
IS STOP FUCKING EATING SO MUCH.
I'm just putting weight back on,
over half term,
I just fucked my diet, and ate so much take-away and chocolate.
I've only been doing 30 sit ups a night,
compared to my normal 200.
Thats bad I tell ye.
STOP IT KIRA. :')


I'm happy.
I'm loved.
I'm optimistic.
I'm complete.
I'm Kira Reynolds.
And I love my life :]