dontevenbother.

Oh fuck. Fucketdy Fuck Fuck, Wank, Shit, Cunt

That was bad. So fucking bad. Oh god.

Someone tell me what the fuck is wrong with me?

And why I do this stuff when I know I'm being a twat?

But for fuck sake, it takes two to tango.

Oh god. I haven't cried in 6 weeks, or been sick in 4 years.

And I fucking broke that record last night.

All because of that.

Why. Why. Why.

I was stupid to ever consider doing that,

and doing it just makes me into the biggest idiot around.

I seriously need a slap.

And even after that,

I go and pour my fucking heart out to you.

And what makes it worse, is that all the stuff you said to me,

made me feel better.

And it shouldn't have.

Because it's most probably a load of bullshit.

But I believe it, cause its just easy to believe.

And just for the record, I didn't go to sleep as you told me to.

I layed awake until about 7, wondering what the hell to do next.

Cause I've been through some right shit with you,

but this is the worst.

Because this time I knew that it was going to happen. You knew what you were doing.

I should of walked away.

But me being me, didnt.

And now I'm stuck with that in my head and I can't even fucking remember anything apart from how good it made me feel about myself.

And then how everything just fucking hit me afterwards and how I've never felt like my chest was going to burst until that moment.

All I know is what I kept repeating last night.

I don't know what to do.

And all the stuff I told you about what I think about myself, is true.

You could sit there for more than the hour you did, trying to convince me that it's not true.

But it fucking is and everyone knows it.

I haven't said this in ages.

But.

FUCK MY LIFE.

I can't do this anymore.