Well it must've been an hour, that I clutched you in my arms,

&

I must of said the right things because you instantly felt warm

(L)

^ ^ ^

I could really do with that right now.

I just need a cuddle.

I feel like I'm doing everything wrong,

and I can't do anything right.

I feel like I'm expecting too much,

and that's the reason I'm being dissapointed :/

I feel like I'm over stepping the mark,

I'm risking a lot,

Just to feel needed? Wanted.

Cause atm, I feel like even the people who are supposed to love me the most,

don't want me around anymore.

They're tired of me.

They want better things.

And it's not hard to get better than me in most respects.

I really just want half term.

I really want to lay with someone, watch the stars at night.

I want to go roding field and make pictures out of clouds.

I want to smile properly and not feel like I'm faking it.

I want to feel like me again,

because at the minute,

I don't know who the fuck I am,

or where I'm going.

I don't know how much you want this anymore.

I don't know how much you need me anymore.

I don't know how much more I can take.

I don't know why I need you to just be with me.

I don't know why I feel so lonely right now.

I don't know why everything reminds me of you.

I don't know why I miss you so much, all the time.

I just need to feel like I did when everything was perfect.

I need this.

I need you.

Now.

The things I don't have the guts to say:

'I would rather die than be with you,

you need to accept that.

You make me physically retch whenever you come near me.

You say we had something? You say we HAVE something?

Early 2009, we did.

You meant a everything to me,

You were/are the reason I'm so insecure.

You are the reason I never feel good enough, for anyone.

Your right. I thought I loved you then. I have no doubt I don't anymore.

We're over. That is over.

It was your fault.

You could of tried harder.

You didn't want me when I wanted you.

I moved on and found something worthwhile,

And your gonna have to deal with that.

I dont want you anymore.

Everything + anything between us, dissapeared about 11 months ago,

When I knew for once in my life, I did deserve so much better than you.

So don't come near me. Don't talk to me. Don't use your silly pitying voice on me,

because when I feel like shit, you are the LAST person I'd turn to.

So don't ask me 'How things are?' because they are a hell of fucking lot beter than they ever would have been with you.

So don't even think for one minute you will ever be a part of my life again,

I've grown up, I don't kiss your arse anymore and beg all you like I will definatly never chose him or anyone over you.'

End.

Thank you.

&

Goodnight.