i'll be okay, is that what you want me to say?

And I'll borrow words from all my favourite paragraphs
To write a ballad while we say the things

We hope would mean the most to me

And each line is sent

I have found a new pages of hope for the days

when I fell like I've lost everything <3

Here we go again,

Same old, same old.

Despite what i've been saying,

I haven't changed at all,

I figured it out.

Im resorting back to what I always do when I'm scared or worried.

I lock myself away,

I pretend I'm Ill and stay off school,

I lie to my friends just to get a few minutes on my own.

I stop eating properly,

and try and change myself.

I mean it's not that I think I'm really fat or really ugly,

Its that I just come to the conclusion,

that changing the outside,

will change the inside.

Hense, the want to have my hair extensions in 24/7,

to have a fake lip ring,

to have false nails (miss chav)

to have massive loads of eyeliner on,

and black clothes to make me look slimmer.

I don't wanna do all this.

Half the time, I want all my eye make up taken off,

I want my short hair just tied up,

I want to slip into PJ's

and feel comfatable.

But i never bloody do.

I feel like I look like a tramp so I go do all my hair

and make-up just to go to bed.

I just hate facing the world atm.

I hate going out.

I hate going to school.

I hate getting up in the mornings to find I look exactly the same as I did last night.

Which is mostly because I don't sleep anymore,

I get up at five to do my hair + make-up until 6:30,

go back to bed for 15 minutes,

get dressed and then I'm knackered and just want to die LOL

over-exaggeration.

but you get the jist of it.

Plus it's like fucking death-stare-off at school.

Everyone hates each other,

and no-one wants to even bother saying Hey too one another.

I mean I had my two best friends.

That I've metioned in other blogs,

but as it stands,

I've only retained one of them.

The other seemed to change and move away,

So I now have no girl I can talk to about stuff,

and I just need someone stuff too.

I mean Drew, he's amazing,

But he's a guy,

I need a girl,

but she's blocked me out.

It's not even as if I was the cause for all this.

I just want this winter over.

I need this feeling over.

I need to feel good about myself again.

I need a really long talk.

I need someone to listen.

I need you.

well. seeya.